Self Reliance in American Born Chinese

The book American Born Chinese and Emerson's "Self-Reliance" both discuss what it means to be yourself.
Two characters in American Born Chinese struggle with self identity. They both want to be something they are not. On page 59 we see the Monkey King transform into a human like figure. He distances himself from his monkey subjects by taking this form. The other character in the book, Jin, has experienced nothing but isolation for his white peers at school because of his ethicity. On page 98 Jin completely changes his hair style to look like who he thinks his crush is attracted to. On page 198 we even see Jin turn into a white boy. Both the Monkey King's story and Jin's story leads them to a state of isolation and loneliness. Jin starts to try and connect to his roots, and the Monkey King has accepted he is a monkey.
Emerson's essay discusses the ideas of trying to be something you're not. He says "imitation is suicide." I agree to a certain extent with that. I believe what he is saying is that trying to be something other than what you are is killing your true nature. Jin's story illustrates this, because he literally leaves behind the Chinese boy and becomes a white boy. However, imitation is a part of human nature. That's how we learned to smile and speak as children.
I get the lesson of the story American Born Chinese and what Emerson is trying to say. They're both telling us to be ourselves. However, I feel that some of us have to go through the struggle of trying to being something else to realize who we are. I can't imagine what it would feel like to be an ethnic minority. However, I do know what it feels like to be a woman and see men around me treated differently and having more power. When I was a kid I wanted to be a boy. I saw women as weak and lacking opportunity, and I didn't want to be that. However, getting older and learning new things has helped me to embrace my own definition of feminity. I didn't want to be who I was, because that meant I lacked power. Emerson can easily say, basically, be yourself, because he was a white male. He had power in this society. I think we are who we are, because of who we are around. Either we are in argreement or opposition with someone. We base our ideas and beliefs off of the those we encounter. To be myself, I have to be all of my experiences which contain many people and impressions.